The Grumpy Author -We Write Fantasy, Not Lunacy

Disclaimer: This is an opinion column intended to generate discussion, not to hate on anyone in particular or tell you what to try to sell as a writer. Because I am both an author and a reader of fantasy, I point out things that bother me when I'm doing the latter. Now, if I make fun of something, keep in mind it's my opinion and if you make a million bucks writing it, you're the one laughing their way to the bank. So in short, don't get offended. If you learn something, great. If not, don't take it as an attack.

Now, that being said, let's get on to this week's grumpiness. If I had a dollar for every time I heard the words "LOL but it's fantasy" to defend something ridiculous in a book, well, let's just say I'd probably try to make a living hearing that line instead of writing.

Yes, we write fantasy, but fantasy still has rules. The laws of physics should still apply unless specific magic is in use. Logic does not just go out the window because it's fantasy and "anything goes in fantasy." Actions should have consequences. Characters' decisions should reflect how actual, (arguably) intelligent life forms would think and come to said decisions. And suspension of disbelief is not a catch-all for what's lacking in a narrative.

It shouldn't be any mystery to those who know me that I'm not fond of anime, and that's putting it kindly. Even worse to me is reading a fantasy book that works like an anime in written form. Without specific magic in place, I want the laws of physics to still apply in a fantasy book, which means no characters leaping 50 feet in the air, twisting and flipping like an Olympic diver, and cutting off three peoples' heads "before they can even react." If they're doing it with magic, that can work, but it's still a copout in my mind. To me, these types of fight scenes say one thing first and foremost: the author has either never been in a fight and/or they have no idea how to write a believable fight scene. I'd rather read a more generalized description of what happened a la Lord of the Rings than be treated to 15 pages of Naruto with a fantasy skin thrown on.

(As an aside, please, PLEASE reconsider every time you find yourself writing, "before ____ could even react" in your book. It has to be one of the most tired, overused expressions in fantasy books, and there are much better ways to say the same thing that paint a better picture of how a scene is playing out than giving us the mental image that a character has their thumb up their ass while the opposition gets the jump on them.)

Yes, writing a fight scene can be tough, but it's really the lifeblood of most fantasy, and bad fight scenes can detract from what's otherwise a great story. I've had examples where I skipped fight scenes in certain books because a) they lacked realism of any kind and b) I knew the characters were in no danger whatsoever. The latter, of course, falls under the dangers of Mary Sue characters, which we'll talk about in another Grumpy™ column.

Realism in combat goes hand in hand with logic not getting thrown out the window. "It's fantasy" doesn't mean it doesn't have to make sense. If things don't make sense, no matter how cool your overall story may be and how likeable your characters may be, you're likely to lose many readers. If you throw a 30-foot-tall cyclops in front of your main character, said character shouldn't just "suddenly realize" he can leap 30 feet in the air and poke out the cyclops' eye. That's eyeroll-worthy at best, throw-the-book-across-the-room at worst (though this doesn't happen as often with ebooks for obvious reasons). At the least, I want to know how he doesn't break his ankles and anything else when he lands. And frankly, that's a situation where I'm expecting brains over brawn, but that's just me.

The logic thing carries over into other facets of the story, too. If your "world's best assassin" is known by face and name to everyone on the planet, are they really an "assassin" at all? How exactly did they break into the impregnable fortress? How did the thief steal the crown jewels when there were 500 mundane and magical traps along with 6000 guards? If you just say "but they're the best," again, it's a logic fail and you're badly stretching the reader's suspension of disbelief (more on this later). This is another thing I see carry over a lot from anime, where a "boss bad guy" is presented as so powerful and unbeatable and yadda yadda yadda, only to have the hero manage to win because he gets angry (usually over the death of a hapless sidekick).

Flowing into the next point, logic feeds into why actions have consequences. If there are no consequences, the story starts to lose important things like risk and tension. Far too often I see fantasy settings portrayed as places where every law enforcement agency is corrupt and run almost completely by rapists (it's tired and it's trite, please avoid this). The guards don't care what kind of crime happens, they're too busy accosting and sexually assaulting every woman they encounter (usually so the MC can become the White Knight; remember that from two weeks ago?). The monarchy is usually likewise corrupt, along with all the nobles. Now, it might seem an "accurate" reflection of the modern world to some, but if this is the case, then the story should be a High Fantasy where the heroes are trying to save society from itself. A society like that doesn't need a dark lord to threaten it, because one's already running it.

The logic and consequences issue usually becomes problematic when they apply to the main character but not anyone else. Either the MC is always blamed or they're coated in Plot Teflon™. There should be a standard that everyone is held to. If there's a corrupt city, then the corruption should be applied to everyone, not just the protagonists. If there's a just kingdom, they shouldn't conveniently drop the ball when dealing with the MC just to drum up sympathy. Be logical, be consistent, and make sure your characters (main, secondary, and background) are making logical decisions and not just the convenient one to move the plot forward (this is known as Idiot Plot and, in my experience, it's one of the first signs a book has been "pantsed").

The last thing I'll note about logic, consistency, and actions having consequences is this: Don't be afraid to kill a character. If one of your characters does something really stupid or really heroic, don't be afraid to let them pay the ultimate price for that. It builds the aforementioned tension and sense of risk, and it lets the reader know that no, everyone isn't magically going to survive because they're cool and you don't want to kill them. If no one ever dies in a fantasy series other than bystanders and background characters, it loses out on tension, emotion, and greater respect for those who survive to win the day.

Which brings me to the final point, which is "suspension of disbelief is not a catch-all." Suspension of Disbelief lets us accept that there's magic, dragons, undead, and other fantastical elements in the world you've created. It does NOT mean that you can do whatever you like because, again, "LOL it's fantasy dude." Don't sacrifice logic, consequences, good writing, realism, or anything else on the altar of "Rule of Cool." Just because it sounds cool in your head doesn't mean it's going to make a lick of sense on the page. The last thing you want is a middling-to-negative review saying, "Cool book until ____ happened" or, "it was good right up until the end."

What's worse than doing one of these things is doing all of them, and I have actually seen books/series where that's happened. There's one in particular that comes to mind that started out so brilliantly, but once the fighting ramped up it went completely anime, so then the author had to manufacture tension and trouble, so illogical decisions with baffling or no consequences came. Characters not only survived grievous wounds, but kept fighting as if they didn't feel them because they just wouldn't give up. And on and on it went until I finally just put the series down and gave up.

Now again, this is an opinion piece, and despite all this, at the same time I'll be one of the first to tell you: Try something new. Step outside the box. Don't just write the same thing everyone else does (unless you're going for a Written-to-Market cash cow). But at the same time, write something memorable that's going to last beyond the video game era. Amazon and the ebook era have taught us to go for short-term wins. Why not go for a long-term one?

But, as always, write what you love.