I DNF’d A Once-Popular Book, And It Made MeThink A Lot

by Caitee Cooper

A few weeks ago I picked up Graceling by Kristin Cashore. I was thirteen years old when it was published and remember it blowing up with all the girls in my middle school, but for some reason I didn’t pick it up until now, almost twenty years later. Going in, I had high hopes, but it didn’t take many pages for me to realize the book wasn’t for me.

Now, that’s fine; no book is for everyone. And even though it wasn’t my personal favorite, I can see why it resonated with its intended audience. If I’d read it as a young teen, I probably would’ve raved about it alongside all my friends. I returned the book to the library and went about my life, but something about the whole experience—from picking it up, discovering it wasn’t for me, and putting it back down again—was still bugging me, and I couldn’t put my finger on it.

So, I dug a little deeper. It’s rare for me to DNF something, so why did I do it with this one? I examined the things that turned me off personally: it was slower-paced, Katsa seemed angsty and immature (though with good reason—the poor girl’s had a rough life, but her particular combination of characteristics just wears on my patience sometimes. I had the same problem with the Throne of Glass series, which I also haven’t finished), and I felt the writing was awkward at times. All personal preferences, right? Nothing wrong with any of them. And the book can still be good—great, even!—just not for me.

But something was still bugging me; I just couldn’t get my brain to turn off on this one. So, I started digging into the book’s backstory. What I found stunned me.

It turns out Graceling won or was nominated for no less than twenty awards. It earned rave reviews and places on Top 10 lists from Publisher’s Weekly, Kirkus, Booklist, School Library Journal, and more. And again, I saw the evidence with my own eyes: my friends loved it, both my little sisters read it years after its publication because it was still that popular, my husband decided to pick it up again just to see if it held up (it didn’t for him, either. But it did spark some great discussions between us, some of which is ending up in this blog post.) There’s no denying this book had an impact, and arguably still does.

But would it still if it was being written today? If Cashore’s timeline had been delayed by twenty years and she was just now drafting it, where do you think the book would have ended up?

I finally realized that that was my real question. And honestly, by today’s standards, I question whether it would have been picked up by a traditional publisher at all. (Thank goodness for indie publishing, right? Despite the fact that I didn’t personally love it, it would be a travesty to not have it out there, because how many girls—and probably boys, too—have picked it up and discovered they love to read because of it?)

By today’s standards, Graceling is likely too slow. By today’s standards—and especially with the darker, more violent, more sexual turn that YA in particular sees to have taken lately—it even may be considered “too careful.”

You know what’s even crazier? Graceling was banned in places when it first came out because some people were concerned about its violence and sexual content. And one of the first things my husband and I talked about when we discussed the novel was how tame it is compared to much of what’s being published now.

Now, I’m not trying to force a certain lens of morality on anyone. Again, I DNF’d Graceling because I got bored; obviously I’m no longer its intended audience. In fact, it could be argued that I’ve become desensitized, too. On the one hand, it could be argued that that’s a normal part of adulthood. The rose-colored glasses many of us see the world through in our youth become clearer and even darken as we see more of this insane world and allow it to affect us.

But on the other hand ... is it good to let all of that in? I could be wrong (and maybe it’s just because I’m a parent and I worry about these sorts of things) but it seems to me that entertainment in general and YA in particular is trending darker and darker. Now, I’m not saying every book coming out is awful, nor am I suggesting that darkness in books is necessarily a bad thing, because often the most impactful stories come from times of deep trial and suffering. (Les Miserables anyone? Schindler’s List?) Nor am I here to tell you whether “a dose of the real world, with all the violence, language, and sex involved” is good or bad; it’s up to you to decide what you’re comfortable with.

But ... I would argue that we do need to be aware of the trend. We need to be deliberate with what we read and watch, because it affects our thoughts and emotions in ways that are so subtle that it’s sometimes difficult for us to pick up on it.

I’m grateful I had a chance to read Graceling even if I didn’t finish it in the end. I’m grateful that it made me think, that it sparked interesting conversation, and that I’m walking away a more deliberate reader who understands myself better. I’m grateful that it brought a market trend to my attention so I can be more aware of it. In my life, nothing bad has ever come from being thoughtful about what I eat and drink, and I expect the same will be true about being a little more thoughtful about what I feed my mind. How much will my reading habits change because of this? I have no idea. Maybe I’ll write a follow-up post a year from now. Until then, read on, my friends, and keep your eyes and hearts open.